Improving Relationships

An Irish Blessing on St. Patrick’s Day!

Friendship isn’t about who you have known the longest
It’s about those who came and never left your side …..

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Pocket Ungame

Convert Almost Any Board Game to a Relationship Board Game

There is an easy way to get the feel of playing a relationship board game; convert a board game you have and are already playing.

This may sound a little surprising or strange but converting a board game you are already playing and enjoying to a relationship board game is easy.

There are a number of relationship card games available that can be played as card games for lots of fun, laughter, and sharing. However, these same relationship card games can be added to the play of many board games from Parcheesi to Monoply and many, many more.

Simply add the draw of a card from the deck of a relationship card game with each role of the die or dice of a board game you already enjoy playing and you will have a relationship board game. Most of the questions, requests, challenges on the cards will work easily into the play adding a new dimension to the game.

What makes this even easier is that there is a relationship card game for kids, families, teens, and couples. The questions, challenges and situations in each of these relationship card games are all appropriate for the group the game is named after.

A future post will provide more information about each of these relationship card games.

You can find more about relationship games in other posts, check out different categories.

And you can find links to other relationship related items including a link to an interview with Amir Levine and Rachel Heller authors of a new book on our attachment system at Relationship Games Info.

These Relationship board games for couples all play well and offer great opportunities for fun and relaxation while

Authenticity

creating opportunities to share and learn about one’s self as well as one’s partner, mate, or spouse.

What these three relationship games all share in common is great design, excellent questions, challenging calls to action, and tough situations in different categories that create opportunities for sharing. What distinguishes them is the order of play.

Authenticity is a relationship board game just for couples–just one couple; it can play more intimately than the others. The game opens with a kiss and a kiss is part of the play each time a player passes Start.

The Authenticity game includes 40 questions and situations in each of seven categories—a total of 280 in all. An example of a call to action is – Imitate Your Mate; a question in the family category is – Describe Your Mother in Three Words; and in the life category- What is Your Biggest Fear?

Each category of questions and challenges offers a way to both know yourself better and provides opportunities for your partner, mate, or spouse to know you better—describing my mother in three words was quite a challenge.

Couple Links is a relationship board game that accommodates up to four couples to play a fun filled and exciting game that provides many opportunities to understand, appreciate and validate each other, three key ingredients needed for a happy and healthy relationship. Play alternates women then men with the questions and challenges are directed to your partner on the other side of the table.

Couple Links

The game offers many unique features. One is the Doghouse where you might land when your answer to a game question suggests a weak link with you partner, mate, or spouse. You get two minutes to do something to please them. Pleasing the other is easy for some in a relationship; not so easy for others. The challenge most often is both great fun and a big time learning experience.

Another relationship board game offering opportunities for couples to share and connect is Do Tell Original. Do Tell Original does not pair couples as Authenticity and Couple Links; it accommodates up to eight players. Do Tell Original includes five card decks Do, Tell, Risk, Wild, and Risk Spicy.

Do Tell Original

The questions and challenges included in Do Tell Original create opportunities for great fun and laughter and for players to dig deep for experiences and feelings to share that open them up both to themselves and to the other players.

Each of these relationship board games serves a different playing situation or order of play but each also creates sharing opportunities that are such an important part of strengthening and deepening connection and improving relationships.

Learn more about relationship games here at Kids, Couples, Teens and Families.

Browse more links at Relationship Games Info.

And you can shop relationship games at RelationshipGamesHQ.

Relationship Games Redefined.

For more and more people, the term relationship games is coming to mean board and card games, relationship board games and relationship card games, that elicit the sharing of stories, experiences, and feelings to build and deepen connection and improve interpersonal relationships.

Until recently the term relationship games was defined by most, as just the opposite, as interpersonal interaction characterized by defensiveness, indicated by a little deception or trickery; behavior intended to hide true intentions and feelings.

Eric Berne defined relationship games in this way and identified and examined different categories of defensive and blameful relationship games during the late 1950s and described and explaind them at length in his 1964 book entitled Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships.

Three of Bern’s categories are Life Games, Marital Games, and Consulting Room Games. He also identifies a category of Good Games but allowed that some in this category are not really games. And pointes out that “since by definition games are based on ulterior transactions, they must all have some element of exploitation.  … [therefore] the search for ‘good games’ becomes a difficult quest.”

A significant turning point in setting a new definition of relationship games came in 1972 with the introduction of the

Ungame, a relationship board game that was originally described as a communication game.

During the years that followed more relationship games of the board and card type have been designed and produced. During the past 5 years there have been a number of new entries in the category of relationship games by this new definition. Defining relationship games as games that promote sharing stories and experiences toward strengthening and deepening connection and improving relationships.

For more about relationship games see ; couples, sharing stories – sharing experiences, and relationship board games.

For an interview with Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, authors of Attachment: The New Science of Adult Attachment And How It Can Help You Find–And Keep–Love.

For additional information and links Relationship Games Info.

Understanding the attachment system, identifying our own attachment style in relationship, can make an importnat contribution too improving our interpersonal relationships.

For a clear, easy to understand explanation of the attachment system, attachment styles, and how they play out in our relationships, listen to Moria Gunn’s interview with the Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, the authors of a new book on the

Pocket Ungame

attachment system and relationships. A link to the interview can be found on their blog, attached the book.

For more information on improving relationships and attachment see Healing Partnerships.

For more on improving relationships see Improving Relationships.

For more links on relationship and relationship games see Relationship  Games Info.

It must be of value … to be constantly reminded … of what we owe to the natural and universal thing called playing.   D. W. Winnicott

Judging from the way all primates care for their newborns and young; we—humans—have probably recognized, understood, and appreciated—since the dawn of our species—that protective nurturing along with playful care and attention are required for normal healthy development.

It is interesting that only relatively recently has the nature, depth, strength, and impact of the relationship between parent or caregiver and newborns and the capacity of newborns to communicate and establish and maintain relationships been recognized, studied, explained, and appreciated.

John Bowlby was the first to explain the similarity between the way ducks and geese imprint and attach and the way infants do something similar. Ducks and geese imprint to the first large creature, some research suggests the first moving object, they experience during a critical, relatively short, period after hatching. And humans similarly form strong attachment bonds to a parent or caregiver during the first year of life that he called the attachment system.

Bowlby published Attachment in 1969. Since publication, the attachment system he identified and described has been thoroughly studied by scores, perhaps better hundreds, of researchers.

What emerges from this research is that our early relationships and the nature and attunement, the playfulness and connection, of the communication during the early years sets patterns of relationship behavior. For many these patterns of behavior persist into adulthood and throughout life. Also, these patterns, set early in life, for many enhance, for others limit, the ability to build, repair, and maintain healthy, committed relationships in adulthood.

Still other research, a great deal conducted at the National Institutes of Health, supports the role of our interpersonal relationships in regulating the levels of important neuro-chemicals in our body and brain. These neuro-chemicals, controlled in part by aspects of our interpersonal relationships, affect our emotional and physical health. They regulate everything from our mood to our immune system.

What does all this have to do with Relationship Games?

Coaches, counselors, and therapists, in ever growing numbers, are accepting that emotional change, growth and healing (and aspects of our physical health as well) occur in our interpersonal relationships. That our happiness, connection with others, and success in everyday life, like the outcome of coaching, counseling, and therapy, develops and is determined in large part by the quality of the interpersonal relationships we build and maintain.

Just as it is the creativity of shared playing in our early relationships that is important in healthy early development, it is the creativity of shared playing in adult life that makes change, growth, and healing possible.

Relationship games for kids, teens, couples, and families are designed to facilitate sharing in shared play. And it is from the creative sharing in shared play that something more emerges that makes change, growth, and healing possible; builds connection and deepens and strengthens commitment–improving relationships.

Emotional health, happiness, and well-being then are to be found and realized in the attuned play and playfulness we experience in our relationships throughout life. And the attuned play and playfulness that is possible playing relationship games serve so many so well in the quest for emotional health, happiness, and well-being.

Learn more about relationship games reading other posts and find more links at Relationship Games Info.

If you have played a relationship game, consider sharing your experience in a comment below.

There are relationship games for kids as young as 3, for teenagers, for a group of up to 4 couples, for one couple, and for families.

During the last five years, a number of new relationship board games have come on the market. These games have a

Couple Links

similar objective–to promote communication and interaction between players to reveal and learn about each other and come to know each other better.

Authenticity and Couple Links are two games designed for couples. These relationship games encourage interaction and sharing but do it a little differently.  Authenticity is just for two, just two game pieces come with Authenticity. The players kiss to start and again each time one passes start during play.

Couple Links is also for couples, up to four, and  introduces a little more competition. The competition is to be the first couple to reach the happily-ever-after place on the game board.

Both of these relationship board games for couples promote interaction and sharing and opportunities to deepen and strengthen connection. Yet they play differently and provide variety for relationship game players.

Authenticity is great for times when it’s just you and your mate, partner, or spouse and Couple Links works for a larger group or party.

The proof of relationship games is in the playing. Try one or both of these games, you ‘ll be surprised–pleasantly surprised.

Learn how relationship games can make amazing things happen.

Find more links at Relationship Games Info.

Many are playing, enjoying, and appreciating relationship board games like Authenticity, Couple Links, Do Tell, Life Stories, Pitch a Story, Relationality, Ungame and many others. A few still refer to some of these games as communication games but they are more than just communication games.

Unfortunately, for many, a board game means a competitive game where the goal is to be first to get one or all of your game pieces “home” or accumulate more points or more “wealth” than any of the other ;players.

Relationship Board Games are different. True they are similar to other board games in that they are played on a board on which game pieces are moved and the movement is driven in part by the roll of a die or dice.

However, relationship board games are non-competitive, or can be played without a competitive dimension, and they encourage players to share stories and experiences in a relaxed, fun atmosphere. And it is in the sharing that the pleasant surprises and the rewards of playing relationship board games begin to emerge.

It is in the sharing where something akin to what Theodore Zeldin identifies as a good conversation occurs. For Zeldin a good conversation is when we hear ourselves say something we have never heard ourselves say before.

And it is during these moments, in the play of relationship board games, of saying something new that we have an opportunity to learn something new about ourselves and provide an opportunity to others to come to know us just a little better as well.

This sharing and coming to know self and other better, the strengthening and deepening connection, are the rewards of playing relationship board games.

Play a relationship board game:

Authenticity
Couple Links
Do Tell
Life Stories
Pitch a Story
Relationality
Ungame

If you are playing or thinking of playing a relationship game, especially a relationship board game for couples like Authenticity, or just interested in relationships then check  Smart Marriages a website where you will find an interesting and valuable trove of relationship resources.

Authenticity

At the Smart Marriages website you will find information on marriage, relationship enrichment, and dating, as well as so many other topics.

The site maintains a directory headed Special Groups / Special Settings. Here you will find links to groups for singles, women, and men. You will also find faith based groups, parenting groups, groups centering on national origin, and many, many more.

Our interpersonal relationships are central to our physical and emotional health and wellbeing and the Smart Marriages website is an important resource for everyone striving to build, repair, and improve their interpersonal relationships.

Relationship Games play their part in enriching and improving relationships.

Click to check out more about relationships at:

Relationship Games Info and Improving Relationships.

Click to learn more about Authenticity at “Authenticity – A Game for Couples.”

If you have played Authenticity, please leave a comment below.

If you haven’t, Authenticity, a relationship board game for couples, is available at RelationshipGamesHQ.

Authenticity

Authenticity is a game for couples, a relationship board game, that every new couple and many long-time couples will have fun playing. For all who play, there will be the fun of the game and something more.

The play of Authenticity creates opportunities for players to learn about themselves and their partner or mate. When beginning a new relationship, Authenticity can help you determine whether you and your mate are compatible. For on-going relationships, this relationship game for couples can deepen and strengthen connection.

Authenticity, a relationship game for couples, makes possible or creates something more than just the fun of playing the game. The fun is there for sure but Authenticity also creates opportunities to share important facts, feelings, and experiences.

This sharing, when getting to know someone, can be a guide to a good partnership or help maintain, build, and improve an established relationship. The game makes possible sharing that a busy, complex life style often makes difficult.

Authenticity was designed as a game for couples. Only two player pieces are included. The play moves around the board to determine which of seven decks (life, finance, family, situation, action, romance, and religion) a player draws a card to continue play.

A space on the Authenticity game board, it’s “Pick Your Pleasure,” offers an opportunity to interact with your partner. When playing this game for couples and you land on “Pick Your Pleasure,” you have the opportunity to ask your partner to perform an act like a dance, sing a song, or prepare dinner, whatever you choose.

There are some things Authenticity is not. It is not a game of right and wrong or a game of competition. It is a relationship board game for couples and it calls for “authenticity” from those who play.

Authenticity is well designed and beautifully crafted. This game will offer many hours of fun and relaxation with your mate and create many opportunities to strengthen and deepen connection.

If you have played Authenticity, please leave a comment below.

Alternatively you can buy Authenticity at RelationshipGamesHQ.